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Writer's picturerachellmft

"What if's and bunny trails"

Anxiety can wreak havoc on the mind, especially with "what if?" thoughts and then create what I like to call, "bunny trails" off of those thoughts. Before you know it, that fear of failing something can turn into a life long doom belief! Worst case scenario thoughts can turn into a long thread of mental chaos leading to exacerbated symptoms physiologically, spinning mentally and emotionally, stress and anger outbursts, shutting down, hopelessness, and more. The fear, dread and worry can overtake to where one no longer feels any sense of control and this cycle can lead to hindrances in functioning in one or multiple aspects of life.


Our MINDSET is powerful as from it flows our perspective, thought patterns become beliefs impacting emotions, choices and actions. What we think directly impacts our emotional, physical and relational health. There is HOPE! Sometimes just knowing we can control our focus and implement concepts, skills, and tools to do so can be empowering. While it is difficult to control intrusive thoughts of anxiety, once recognized, the focus can be chosen. NOTICE (or observe; refrain from judging) the anxiety, take a pause, redirect your brain and attention, use a grounding skill if needed (I'll mention a few of these in an upcoming post), followed by naming a fact/truth statement such as "I'm worried about going to this event and I have a friend who will be there." Another example is "I'm fearful of making a mistake and I'll do better next time and grow from it." Notice the first part of these statements include naming the emotion which is also validating what you are feeling in the moment. The "AND" is the key part to these statements as it joins together the emotion and fact at the same time being true, which is both/and dialectical thinking. This concept is from Dialectical Behavioral Therapy developed by Marsha Linehan in the 1970s. Basically, the both/and is a duality mindset where two seemingly opposing truths can be true at the same time. For example, we can hold both grief and hope at the same time. We can have an emotion AND a fact tied to that emotion at the same time. This mindset promotes GROWTH, healing and openness versus the "either/or" mindset which can lead to feeling stuck and trapped. Anxiety definitely leads people into this latter mindset.


This concept of both/and is powerful along with identifying positive facts about the situation at hand. Like I mentioned above, our thoughts directly impact our perspective and mindset, beliefs, emotions, actions, and life overall. Anxiety can lose its power when identified, named and reframed, along with the other tools and concepts that will be mentioned in future posts. Just like we have to nourish our bodies with whole and healthy foods, we also have to NOURISH our minds. Limiting scrolling on social media, limiting the mainstream media, being mindful of what your focus is at any given time and GRATITUDE. I end the days before laying my head on my pillow to sleep with naming gratitudes from the day. No matter what we are facing, there is ALWAYS something to be thankful for.


Noticing anxious thoughts, pausing to ground and regulate, naming at least one positive fact to the situation at hand, developing at least one both/and mindset statement and gratitude can help with the mental aspect of anxiety. Remember the POWER of your thoughts, mental focus and what can be controlled. Thank you for reading and now as you take a couple deep belly breaths, add in a gratitude for the moment:) Our very breath is a gift so if you can't think of anything else, there's a freebie!

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